The Stargazer
by Dr Pepper and Ice Cream
Summary: ME3 Spoilers. A warped take on the meaning behind the Epilogue.  ""You made me unable to keep his order," she snapped in a frustrated hiss."


**Spoiler alert etc etc etc. Finished off ME3 a few days ago and while I wasn't upset with Shepard passing, the Stargazer threw me for a loop. What an unsatisfactory ending. This started off as a balm to keep my wounded plot bunnies at bay and I've no intention of continuing this one shot. If there is anything that continues from it, it will be mentioned as such.**

**Also, it has been a _long_ time since I've written. This is unbetta'd so if there's something glaringly obvious that I missed, feel free to call me out on it.**

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><p>"The paths are open. But you have to choose."<p>

The echos of the Catalyst's voice reverberated into silence as the apparition stared now quietly at the broken and battered woman barely standing beside it. Green eyes once so full of life and fire narrowed as her gaze tore from the Catalyst to the paths that were now laid out before her. A bone rattling, wheezing cough tore from the Commander's lips, flecks of blood accompanying the pained action. Falling down to a knee, Shepard clutched at her side, feeling warm liquid flow past her fingers as her open wounds could not contain her precious life blood. Wincing after another cough shook her frame, she gazed up at the pathways again.

How had it all come down to this? The Crucible was supposed to...it wasn't supposed to do this! Letting out a frustrated huff of air, Shepard's hand curled into a fist as her face screwed up in anguish. The weight on her shoulders was robbing her of air, making her head spin and dots show up in her vision. There had to be another way, one that wouldn't rob the galaxy of the mass relays and one that wouldn't tear the geth and EDI from the land of the living. Synthesis was too big of a gamble to bet upon after this played out. She couldn't fling the future into that big of an unknown.

"You...you're sure there's no other path to take?" she ground out, wincing at the sound of her own voice. An almost irritated aura seemed to emanate from the Catalyst as it peered down at the human.

"The paths are open. You _must_ choose."

A strangled, choked sob was wrought from Shepard echoing within the open space around her, clinging to the air in a desperation that matched the being from whence it came. Her hand around the pistol trembled as soot covered red hair fell in front of her face. She willed the tears to come, to let them fall down freely over her cheeks and perhaps relieve some of the tension that knotted her soul. But the Commander was denied even the simple act of crying in these final moments. Another dry sob echoed in the air as the human sunk down to her knees, the light from the Crucible searing past her eyelids and burned her retinas, causing her to bow her head and allow her singed hair to shield some of of the pain.

How did it come to this?

"_James told me there's an old saying here on Earth: 'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.'"_

Shepard blinked a few times as the flanged voice echoed in her ears and immediately her head shot up as she gazed around, hoping and dreading to see the owner of that two toned speech. Here. At the very end.

"_If this thing goes sideways and we both end up there...meet me at the bar. I'm buying._"

The Commander's shoulders slumped as her gaze fell back upon that blazing blue-white light directly in front of her. A wry, humorless smile curved her split and bruised lips as she gazed ahead unseeing. Softly, a small huff of air passed through Shepard's nose in a weak attempt of a laugh.

"Brandy, maybe something from 2100," she said, a light air to her voice that had been vacant since the war had begun. "And some of that chocolate you'd mentioned," the woman added with a short laugh. The Catalyst stared at the human as she slowly stood up, grunting from the effort as she stumbled and swayed. Her feet remained under her however as she continued staring at the light still emanating from the Crucible. Another heaving cough struck Shepard, causing red flecks to speckle the pistol that still laid at her feet.

"And while we're at it, you're going to try some ryncol, just because we can," the red head wheezed as she slowly started moving forward. The gash in her side burned and her left lung was numb. Probably punctured the damn thing, which was why her vision kept spotting over like it was. A startled cry escaped Shepard's lips as her right leg gave out upon her next step, sending her sprawling down on the ground. Short, pained pants shook the woman's frame as the gash above her eye started letting blood flow down her face. Licking her lower lip, she lifted her hand up and passed the back of her hand under her nose, only to feel more of the warm liquid on her charred skin. Blinking tiredly a few times, the red head pushed herself back up again, arm curled around her middle as she stared at that blue-white light so hard it made her eyes burn.

Life was apparently fully intent on making her final hours as miserable as possible. Falling through the atmosphere of some god forsaken ice planet, desperately clutching to the last dregs of oxygen before heat and flame perversely cradled her body through the atmosphere only to send her unceremoniously crashing down to the planet's crust. And now, here she was. The great Commander Shepard. Burned, bloody, and struggling for her last breaths.

"_Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you._"

The red head's face scrunched up into an angry scowl as she glared at that light, baring her teeth as if it would be intimidated by her. Apparently life seemed keen on making her die alone, and was now taunting her with his voice. She could feel her heart beat faster, fluttering in her chest like some deranged animal wanting out. Suddenly her vision cleared and the explosions beyond the light caught her attention. The Reapers...

A low growl ripped through the still air as those green eyes snapped back onto the light, a fire burning in them that was far brighter than any star.

"You made me unable to keep his order," she snapped in a frustrated hiss, the blood rushing to her ears now. The pain and weariness was surprisingly absent from her body now and Shepard crouched down low as her eyes narrowed.

"And now I have to keep his seat at that bar," Shepard whispered before charging forward, sprinting for the Crucible's light. Pushing herself off of the ledge with one last step, the sudden and gut wrenching feeling of falling wrapped around her body as she let out one last battle cry. Twisting her spine, the red head found herself staring up as she passed through the light. Falling was replaced by floating, along with a feeling of warmth that cradled her in midair.

Shepard blinked and slowly turned her head to gaze at her hand, trying to figure out where that feeling of bubbling warmth was coming from. And instantly, it was like being in a dream as she watched a green light envelop her skin, slowly pulling her apart. But there was no pain. Closing her eyes, the red head let out a long breath.

And waited.

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><p>"Did that all really happen?" she asked, peering up at the older being in curiosity, tearing her gaze away from that gorgeous blue moon.<p>

"Yes, but some of the details have been lost in time. It all happened so very long ago," he said, peering down at her with an inquisitive glance. The smaller being fidgeted under his gaze, feeling an itch crawl up her spine.

"When can I go to the stars?" she asked instead, tipping her head to the side.

The older being smiled, crinkles forming on his face as he peered back up at the moon. "One day my sweet," he answered.

"What will be there?" she immediately countered, peering up at him through child-like eyes. The elder smiled as he tipped his chin up proudly.

"Anything you can imagine. Our galaxy has billions of stars. Each of those stars could have many worlds. Every world could be home to a different form of life. And every life is a special story of its own," he answered. She frowned at that, turning her gaze from him to the ground. Biting her lip, she looked back up at him, giving the elder a pleading look.

"Tell me another story about the Shepard," she begged. The elder smiled at her and shook his head.

"It's getting late but, okay...one more story," he said. Turning to her, he kneeled down and stared into her eyes before reaching a finger out and lightly touched her forehead.

She felt herself float for what felt like a lifetime and a bat of an eye in the same moment before her lungs cried out for air. Eyes opening sharply, the red head sat up in a swift movement as she gasped for air, chest heaving as she panted. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Everything was too bright, too sharp. Muffled noises reached her ears but the red head couldn't decipher what the sounds were. Green eyes darted around, searching, hunting for a clue. And suddenly, there was that beautiful blue moon again...only there were two of them. Blinking in confusion, the woman tried pushing herself backwards on her hands only to have a pair rest over her shoulders.

"Shepard," she heard, in that warm, two toned flanging voice. Realization dawned upon her that she wasn't gazing at the moon anymore. A cry leapt from her throat as the woman flung herself forward, burying her face into leathery skin as warm arms wound their way around her body.

Whoever that stargazer had been...he had just given her world back to her.


End file.
